Thursday, April 4, 2013

Moving: reflections on moving on, moving to a new place, and being scared to death of change

It's been awhile, but I'm getting ready to move again and thought it might help to process the changes that are coming my way via blog. I'm currently working on the first draft of my senior thesis, which is essentially the biggest material representation of the culmination of my four years as a student at Willamette--not a big deal at all...

My thesis also is triggering many "lasts." (And causing me anxiety about missing fun "lasts," but that's even more motivation to buckle down and git er done.)  When I was about a month away from finishing up my semester in Greece, my roommates and I began making bucket lists, not a good idea. There was so much pressure to have notable experiences at all of our favorite haunts, and it was downright depressing! Not to mention the sinking feeling when you realize you're just not going to make it back to that obscure Harry Potter-themed bakery across Athens--but I digress.

Today I went to a meeting for the student committee planning our Interfaith Baccalaureate service and was forced to really consider what Willamette has meant to me and what I want to remember and be remembered for. I didn't think I'd get this sentimental about graduating, I've been trying to get out of Salem for years! I guess I am a creature of habit and I like knowing where the good water fountains are on-campus and where I study best (law library!)  I'm scared to go to a completely different school in a new state and have to figure all of that out again.

I'm pretty excited, too.

As the cheesy Vitamin-C "ultra-graduation" tune goes..."As we go on we remember all the times we had together, and as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever." Way too much emotion and not enough depth, but that's a typical pop song for you. That's how memories work, though. The most obscure and seemingly trivial things can bring tears to your eyes five years later as they trigger some small thought about an old friend or favorite place, smell, song, etc.  Ahh nostalgia...I think I felt this way after high school, too, and I thought I would never attain that pure happiness that comes with being completely comfortable and confident in my surroundings, but I did.

And I'm pretty sure history repeats itself. 

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